Monday, February 21, 2011

DON'T HOPE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE, MAKE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

What love really means! Love must go beyond affection or mutual attraction and be governed by what is for the highest good of the loved one. 

Do you notice something commendable in your mate? Give voice to it! Do you have an impulse to do a kindness? Obey that impulse! We must show love in order to reap it. Practicing these things will bring you and your mate closer, make the two of you one, and make the love between you grow.

Marriage is sharing. Perhaps there is an affectionate glance across the room, a touch, and a soft word, even sitting peacefully together without speaking. Love means sharing the work and the play, the troubles and the joys, the accomplishments and the failures, the thoughts of the mind and the feelings of the heart. Share common goals, and reach them together. This is what makes two people one; this is what makes love grow.

Enjoy this short story and video by Celine Dion. You will no doubt see areas where your own marriage can improve. This information certainly gives those who are not married but in a relationship something to think about.
 
    THE STORY IS LONG BUT YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly.
This one occurred a mere two feet away from me. Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, "Me, too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son's face in his hands said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi, baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last," and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, "I love you so much!" They stared at each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't possibly be.
I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"
"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those," he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.
"Well, then, how long have you been away?" I asked.
The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile.
"Two whole days!"
Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months. I know my expression betrayed me, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"
The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope, friend ... decide!"
Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!" With that, he and his family turned and strode away together. I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?"
Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"


WHAT DOES TRUE LOVE MEAN IN THE MARRIAGE

 Making marriage work is an achievement. Achievement implies accomplishing something despite difficulties. This joint effort with a mutual goal ties you together; it binds you close; it makes the two of you one. In time this creates a bond of love surpassing anything felt in anticipation of marriage, and in such unifying happiness it becomes a pleasure to adjust to each other’s differences.
As you enjoy this story by Shawn Segal and this video of KENNY ROGERS singing “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” you will see that marriage takes a lot of work, especially when it involves difficulties along the way. WE WANT TO GO INTO MARRIAGE DOING ALL WE CAN TO EASE ANY TROUBLE THAT LIFE MAY THROW YOUR WAY.

THE STORY IS LONG BUT YOU WILL NOT REGRET READING IT.

I never considered myself unique, but people are constantly telling me, "I am a miracle." To me, I was just an ordinary "guy" with realistic goals and big dreams. I was a 19-year-old student at the University of Texas and well on my way toward fulfilling my "big dream" of one day becoming an orthopedic surgeon.
On the night of February 17, 1981 I was studying for an Organic Chemistry test at the library with Sharon, my girlfriend of three years. Sharon had asked me to drive her back to her dormitory as it was getting quite late. We got into my car, not realizing that just getting into a car would never quite be the same for me again. I quickly noticed that my gas gauge was registered on empty so I pulled into a nearby convenience store to buy $2.00 worth of gas. "I'll be back in two minutes," I yelled at Sharon as I closed the door. But instead, those two minutes changed my life forever.
Entering the convenience store was like entering the twilight zone. On the outside I was a healthy, athletic, pre-med student, but on the inside I was just another statistic of a violent crime. I thought I was entering an empty store, but suddenly I realized it was not empty at all. Three robbers were in the process of committing a robbery and my entrance into the store caught them by surprise. One of the criminals immediately shoved a .38 caliber handgun to my head, ordered me to the cooler, pushed me down on the floor, and pumped a bullet into the back of my head - execution style. He obviously thought I was dead because he did not shoot me again. The trio of thieves finished robbing the store and left calmly.
Meanwhile, Sharon wondered why I had not returned. After seeing the three men leave the store she really began to worry as I was the last person she saw entering the store. She quickly went inside to look for me, but saw no one -- only an almost empty cash register containing one check and several pennies. Quickly she ran down each aisle shouting, "Mike, Mike!"
Just then the attendant appeared from the back of the store shouting, "Lady, get down on the floor. I've just been robbed and shot at!"
Sharon quickly dropped to the floor screaming, "Have you seen my boyfriend ... auburn hair?" The man did not reply but went back to the cooler where he found me choking on my vomit. The attendant quickly cleaned my mouth and then called for the police and an ambulance.
Sharon was in shock. She was beginning to understand that I was hurt, but she could not begin to comprehend or imagine the severity of my injury.
When the police arrived they immediately called the homicide division as they did not think I would survive and the paramedic reported that she had never seen a person so severely wounded survive. At 1:30 a.m. my parents who lived in Houston, were awakened by a telephone call from Brackenridge Hospital advising them to come to Austin as soon as possible for they feared I would not make it through the night.
But I did make it through the night and early in the morning the neurosurgeon decided to operate. However, he quickly informed my family and Sharon that my chances of surviving the surgery were only 40/60. If this were not bad enough, the neurosurgeon further shocked my family by telling them what life would be like for me if I beat the odds and survived. He said I probably would never walk, talk, or be able to understand even simple commands.
My family was hoping and praying to hear even the slightest bit of encouragement from that doctor. Instead, his pessimistic words gave my family no reason to believe that I would ever again be a productive member of society. But once again I beat the odds and survived the three and a half hours of surgery.
Even though my family breathed a huge sigh of relief that I was still alive the doctor cautioned that it would still be several days before I would be out of danger. However, with each passing day I became stronger and stronger and two weeks later I was well enough to be moved from the ICU to a private room.
Granted, I still could not talk, my entire right side was paralyzed and many people thought I could not understand, but at least I was stable. After one week in a private room the doctors felt I had improved enough to be transferred by jet ambulance to Del Oro Rehabilitation Hospital in Houston.
My hallucinations, coupled with my physical problems, made my prognosis still very bleak. However, as time passed my mind began to clear and approximately six weeks later my right leg began to move ever so slightly. Within seven weeks my right arm slowly began to move and at eight weeks I uttered my first few words.
My speech was extremely difficult and slow in the beginning, but at least it was a beginning. I was starting to look forward to each new day to see how far I would progress. But just as I thought my life was finally looking brighter I was tested by the hospital europsychologist. She explained to me that judging from my test results she believed that I should not focus on returning to college but that it would be better to set more "realistic goals."
Upon hearing her evaluation I became furious for I thought, "Who is she to tell me what I can or cannot do. She does not even know me. I am a very determined and stubborn person!" I believe it was at that very moment that I decided I would somehow, someday return to college.
It took me a long time and a lot of hard work but I finally returned to the University of Texas in the fall of 1983 - a year and a half after almost dying. The next few years in Austin were very difficult for me, but I truly believe that in order to see beauty in life you have to experience some unpleasantness. Maybe I have experienced too much unpleasantness, but I believe in living each day to the fullest, and doing the very best I can.
And each new day was very busy and very full, for besides attending classes at the University I underwent therapy three to five days each week at Brackenridge Hospital. If this were not enough I flew to Houston every other weekend to work with Tom Williams, a trainer and executive who had worked for many colleges and professional teams and also had helped many injured athletes, such as Earl Campbell and Eric Dickerson. Through Tom I learned: "Nothing is impossible and never, never give up or quit."
He echoed the same words and sentiments of a prominent neurosurgeon from Houston, Dr. Alexander Gol, who was a close personal friend of my parents and who drove to Austin with my family in the middle of the night that traumatic February morning. Over the many months I received many opinions from different therapists and doctors but it was Dr. Gol who told my family to take one day at a time, for no matter how bad the situation looked, no one knew for certain what the brain could do.
Early, during my therapy, my father kept repeating to me one of his favorite sayings. It could have been written by both Tom and Dr. Gol and I have repeated it almost every day since being hurt:
"Mile by mile it's a trial; yard by yard it's hard; but inch by inch it's a cinch."
I thought of those words, and I thought of Dr. Gol, Tom, my family and Sharon who believed so strongly in me as I climbed the steps to receive my diploma from the Dean of Liberal Arts at the University of Texas on that bright sunny afternoon in June of 1986. Excitement and pride filled my heart as I heard the dean announce that I had graduated with "highest honors" (grade point average of 3.885), been elected to Phi Beta Kappa, and been chosen as one of 12 Dean's Distinguished Graduates out of 1600 in the College of Liberal Arts.
The overwhelming emotions and feelings that I experienced at that very moment, when most of the audience gave me a standing ovation, I felt would never again be matched in my life -- not even when I graduated with a masters degree in social work and not even when I became employed full time at the Texas Pain and Stress Center. But I was wrong!
On May 24, 1987, I realized that nothing could ever match the joy I felt as Sharon and I were married. Sharon, my high school sweetheart of nine years, had always stood by me, through good and bad times. To me, Sharon is my miracle, my diamond in a world filled with problems, hurt, and pain. It was Sharon who dropped out of school when I was hurt so that she could constantly be at my side. She never wavered or gave up on me.
It was her faith and love that pulled me through so many dark days. While other nineteen year old girls were going to parties and enjoying life, Sharon devoted her life to my recovery. That, to me, is the true definition of love.
After our beautiful wedding I continued working part time at the Pain Center and completed my work for a masters degree while Sharon worked as a speech pathologist at a local hospital. We were extremely happy, but even happier when we learned Sharon was pregnant.
On July 11, 1990 at 12:15 a.m. Sharon woke me with the news: "We need to go to the hospital .... my water just broke." I couldn't help but think how ironic it was that my life almost ended in a convenience store and now on the date "7-11" we were about to bring a new life into this world. This time it was my turn to help Sharon as she had helped me over those past years. Sharon was having contractions about every two minutes, and each time she needed to have her lower back massaged.
Since she was in labor for 15 hours that meant 450 massages!! It was well worth every bit of pain in my fingers because at 3:10 p.m. Sharon and I experienced the birth of our beautiful daughter, Shawn Elyse Segal!
Tears of joy and happiness came to my eyes as our healthy, alert, wonderful daughter entered this world. We anxiously counted her 10 fingers and her 10 toes and watched her wide eyes take in the world about her. It was truly a beautiful picture that was etched in my mind forever as she lie in her mother's waiting arms, just minutes after her birth. At that moment I thanked God for blessing us with the greatest miracle of all -- Shawn Elyse Segal.

THE REASON FOR THIS POEM & THE VIDEO

I wrote this poem because there are many women in the WORLD who are married and they are going above and beyond to please their mate. YOU ARE TO BE COMMENDED, because it is not easy to be a mother, wife, doctor, counselor, financer, worker outside the home, etc. You have to wear so many hats.
However, God fearing women apply principles in their lives that make them so desirable to their man, they give respect, love, they are kind to their man, they do the things asked of them by him, they are humble, loyal, submissive, mild, self-controlled, they know what it means to stick to their man despite difficulties in life.
They always keep themselves beautiful, sexy, giddy, and happy. They dress to impress their mate, they flirt with him, they open their heart to him, and they enjoy walking arm and arm with him. 

Women are not perfect but, it's nice to see women who try to so hard to please their man. It is equally nice to see men who recognize the efforts of such a woman, THANK YOU LADIES. 

We realize too that many single women do have these qualities too so, our COMMENDATION IS EQUALLY FOR YOU AS WELL.

This next video by Baby Face is for married God fearing women.


POEM - GOD FEARING WOMAN

GOD-FEARING WOMAN

A Gem is very precious but rare,
But a God-fearing woman is beyond compare.
She is God-fearing because she listens to the written word, obeying all God own words,
A man who has a true God-fearing wife, his life is free from much pain and strife.


After God made man wise and intelligent, he made woman tender and affectionate,
God brought the woman to the man to meet,
He said “This is what you need to be complete, from the top of her head, to the soul of her feet.”
She is to satisfy your every desire, set your mental, emotional and physical needs a fire,
Yes, God gave to man, his companion, his woman.

As the man looked at his woman, he was in constant ecstasy,
Never had he seen a woman so exotic in form, no, never to be scorned.
Sensual, delicate, tender this feminine one,
She had not said a word but she knew she was his woman.


With submissiveness, love and deep respect for him, she listens to him again and again,
She said, “I was created to please you, all the days of our life.”
She was ready to make love to him, because she knew he was her husband,
She was to be different from him but in everyway complement him she was his God-fearing woman.

He was the captain of his family; she was the 2nd mate,
She spoke her mind with deep respect, she accepted his decision to no ones regret.
Because she was God-fearing, she could not look at another man, she knew that her creator gave her only to her husband.
She presented her body to him as intoxicating wine,
Oh! How he enjoyed all of her body, oh! How fine.


Her body was pure for him to delight,
She was always a welcome presence in his sight.
God-fearing women today try hard as they might,
To satisfy their man as God instructed in the beginning of life. 
 
Composed by
Chester Randolph Sr
February 19, 2011

TRUE BEAUTY IS NOT PHYSICAL - SEE IF YOU AGREE

In the western movie called the “Gunfighter” a couple was traveling to their new home, they just got married. Out of nowhere come many Indians who were trying to kill the couple. The new husband and his wife were in a horse drawn carriage and they were pulling a horse with a saddle on him. The couple tried to outrun the Indians but they could not. The new husband panicked, got on the horse and left his wife. He was scared and did not prove himself loyal to his wife through this difficult time. How do you think she felt about him?

The beauty of remaining true to a marriage mate far surpasses any physical beauty. Physical beauty inevitably fades with the years, but the beauty of loyal devotion grows with each passing year. To seek another person’s happiness, and to be willing to put his or her interests ahead of your own, can bring lasting satisfaction.

Between old married couples there is a feeling of genuine trust, a sense of security, knowing that they will stay by each other no matter what problems may arise. For them it seems only the natural thing to be loyal to each other. 

     This short story and video shows that, it’s not how you start in
 
        L O V E, but how you finish in the race called L O V E.
 
 
"Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"
 

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

Monday, February 7, 2011

RACISM - CAN WE INDIVIDUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

LOOK AROUND! How do you feel about people of skin color or ethnic group different from your own? Do you view them as equal?

In 1969 Richard Milhous Nixion – US President said in his inaugural address concerning race:
“We will strive to listen in new ways . . . to the injured voices, the anxious voices, the voices that have despaired of being heard. . . . What remains is to give life to what is in the law: to ensure at last that as all are born equal in dignity before God, all are born equal in dignity before man.”

Another words “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”—Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Some in the world will disagree with these words. However, many, many persons would like to be able to live together better and, get along because they see that all human are part of humanity.
    
This Poem and Video shows that changes are needed, and a fine example of the Touhy Family who demonstrated not just an act of kindness but, an act of love, by extending a hand to a child of another race who was in need. Not only was the child helped, but such help made a deep lasting impression on the family too. Thank you Touhy Family for seeting a good example in caring for another.


What can we individually do physically, spiritually, emotionally and, mentally to make a difference?

COLOR OF SKIN - WHAT CAN WE DO INDIVIUALLY IN OUR OWN COMMUNITY TO HELP BEAT RACISM?

Education has been described as “the most powerful tool” in the fight against prejudice. The right education can, for example, expose the root causes of prejudice, enable us to examine our own attitudes more objectively, and help us deal wisely with prejudice when we are victims.


THIS VIDEO LOOK AT PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT RACES IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. CAN YOU MAKE ROOM IN YOUR LIFE TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE OF A DIFFERENT RACE? CAN YOU ACCEPT IN YOUR LIFE AND HEART THAT THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU WHETHER AT SCHOOL, WORK, NEIGHBORHOOD OR ANOTHER COUNTRY IS RELATED TO YOU AS PART OF THE HUMAN FAMILY.